CRUELSTER - lost inside my mind...

So I have a problem: I hate everyone and all music. Well, OK, not everyone. But c’mon - you know what people are like. Honestly, they’re the worst. And fair enough I might not really hate all music, but let’s be honest: have you ever actually heard any music? I mean, jeeez. If I’m gonna listen to a record, I’ll need something that matches this misanthopy; something that really gets the neurotransmitters firing on all cylinders and ready to obliterate the feelgood factor. Something like Cleveland band Cruelster, basically.

Cruelster are made up of members of Knowso, Perverts Again, and a plethora of other Ohio noiseniks. If it seems like you’ve seen that name before, it’s highly probable - they released a demo back in 2012 and have been sporadically dropping bundles of rough-edged sonic snot ever since, thanks to labels like Lumpy (whose own Dumpers are at the very least sonically adjacent) and Turbine Piss. This singles collection compiles all the non-album tracks they’ve released since that early demo to make a thrillingly ‘orrible racket. Twelve years’ worth of punk rottenness and general stupidity contained in 29 tracks and 40 noisy minutes. It is, of course, fucking brilliant.

From the gleefully melodic dumbness (and Booji Boy-flavoured additions) of ‘My Embarrassment’ to the malevolent rumble of ‘Double Trouble’, not to mention a fabulously energised cover of Icona Pop’s dance-pop smash ‘I Love It’, every track here is a winner. It’s the perfect tonic for your rage and the perfect foil to a cruel world where everyone else’s disdain seems more pronounced than your own. You owe it to yourself to complete your record shelves with this instantly classic comp - it’s punk rock par excellence. And as for that ‘hating all music thing’... ah, who cares, this is all gold. Listen immediately, you’ll be causing chaos to its raucous brilliance before you know it.
Will Fitzpatrick